September 14, 2006
crude
i know that stooping to this kind of humor is cheap and maybe even slightly crude. i don’t care.
the other day we were playing poker, and there was this horrible
smell. fingers went flying, everyone denied it. to this
day, the perp. still remains at large. probably fled the country
after hearing we have a war on “terror” for what happened that night was mass destruction of life.
all that is left besides the trail of destruction, is a series of clues
and it is my aim in this post to put the pieces together.
let’s put our faith in the scientific method and reason to deduce who dealt it
we will call time of emission t = 0
at t + 3 seconds, shane experienced the blast. this was the first mention of the atrocity.
at t + 7, i smelled what at first seemed like egg salad, but quickly soured into china town street smell
assuming the diffusion rate of the gas molecules in air is constant
and that the specific heat of julie’s butt = nasty, we can draw radius
lines from shane and myself and find where the circles intersect.
see fig. 1
one thing to question… why erica never said anything. we
must postulate that she was julie’s partner in crime.
further more, if the perp was one of the dudes, we would have gladly taken the fall.
which leads us to my point. julie farted
September 13, 2006
daddy bought it but i got it
the other day i was driving behind an older looking gentleman in a mercedes s500. the license plate read “staywme”.
heh, i dont think it worked